Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Christmas Snippets: Take Two...Or Three
This year, Miles experienced his very first Christmas, and we all experienced our first Christmas as a family of four. Although I'd like to say something profound about the whole thing, I'm at a loss. So instead, I've decided to take the pressure off and simply put together a bunch of posts about Christmas moments that I found funny, moving or otherwise worth mentioning.
Here goes...
I spent much of my time at our various holiday gatherings attempting to capture Miles' first Christmas on camera. Before the age of digital cameras, I suppose I would've snapped a bunch of pics, called it good, and hoped that something turned out. Those days must have been less stressful. After all, no one expected to get a perfect picture.
So if you got your film back, and grandpa looked a little tipsy while holding your baby, you'd just laugh and put that photo right on into an album. And if you took a second pic...
...and your BABY looked a little tipsy while being held by grandpa, you'd laugh even harder. It, too, would go into the album. After all, you paid to have that film developed and you're not about to throw away a picture simply because your baby looks cross-eyed and big-nosed.
Today, though, we keep snapping and checking until we get a picture that's just right...or at least good enough. And then we delete all the bad ones.But I think I'm going to start keeping some of the bad pictures.
After all, if my parents weren't forced to keep the bad pictures, would I have this one? With me looking like a crazed lunatic, my sister looking like an overexcited nut and neither of us in focus, I'm guessing not.
Or would I have this one? It's hard to say, but my guess is that, today, someone would have seen this pic and forced us to stand there even longer until my cousin Katie figured out how to keep that Cabbage Patch doll in her arms.But "bad" pictures are funny, often touching and very real. So keep a few around. Your kids will thank you.
Monday, December 28, 2009
How My Kid Got a "Water-Shooting Race Track" for Christmas
But the minute Rowan looked up at me with his big blue eyes and said, “I just know that Santa will bring it for me,” I caved.
What can I say? He’s 4 years old, and I don’t know how long he’ll believe. So I decided that the magic was worth the mess.
And it totally was.
“Oh. Man.” he said when he caught his first glimpse of it. “I guess Santa really does bring you what you ask for at Christmas!”
Like I said, worth it.
And the mess wasn't so bad. Although Rowan calls it a "water-shooting race track," it's actually more like a vehicle-shooting car wash....or something like that.
Anyhoo, we set it up on a towel, and the cleanup was a breeze.
All the boys thought it was pretty cool.
And so did I.
Christmas Is Over...Now What?
Hrmph.
We really must find something to look forward to during the cold months ahead.
A weekend at a hotel with a waterpark maybe? Frequent trips to museums? Movie nights?
Winter is far too long.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Five Etiquette Tips for Givers and Receivers: Tip #5
Nothing is more disappointing than unwrapping a super awesome toy only to discover that you can't play with it until dad runs to the store for batteries.
Scratch that.
Nothing is more disappointing than unwrapping a super awesome toy only to discover that no one can even OPEN the packaging surrounding it!
Even parents who are industrious enough to crack through the sharp plastic casing and melted seams will find it nearly impossible to unwind those evil gray wires that tether the toys inside.
So, if you want to be merely polite, include batteries with your gift. If you want to be exceptionally thoughtful, also include industrial-grade scissors, safety gloves (goggles might be necessary in some cases) and LOTS of Band-Aids.*
Mom and dad (especially dad) will thank you.
*Use your judgement about whether a complete first-aid kit might be necessary.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Five Etiquette Tips for Givers and Receivers: Tip #4
Yeah, yeah, I know how it goes. You couldn't find exactly the right thing. The store was out of what you had hoped to buy. You couldn't decide what size to choose. You didn't have enough time.
Whatever excuse explains your less-than-stellar gift, keep it to yourself!
A person opening a present should not feel compelled to console the giver before the wrapping even hits the floor. ("I understand. It's OK, really it is. Don't worry about it! I'm sure it'll be fine.")
Just hand over your gift, smile politely while it's being opened, and — when you inevitably hear "Thank you!" — muster your most sincere "You're welcome!"
(Oh, and don't forget to include a gift receipt.)
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Five Etiquette Tips for Givers and Receivers: Tip #3
This one might come as a bit of surprise to some of you. Maybe you’re thinking, “Forget to wrap my presents? Of course I’ll wrap my presents!”
For those of you confused by this tip, I have a simple message:
You're LUCKY!
Me? I once received a present wrapped in a Target bag with a red bow. On another occasion, I received a present stuffed in a paper grocery bag with no bow. I have even waited to receive a present while someone wrapped it at the last minute in another room.*
The bottom line: It happens! Just DON’T let it be because of you!
Even if you’re giving a so-so gift, wrap it in some festive paper or stick it in a cute gift bag. Presentation counts! And if you want to be green, go ahead and wrap your presents in grocery bags or newspaper. Just be sure to put forth a little extra effort (stencils, ribbon, raffia) to make it look special for your special someone.
Is that really too much to ask?
I didn’t think so.
*No, not all of these gift-giving faux pas were committed by my husband.**
**Yes, some of them were committed by my husband.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Five Etiquette Tips for Givers and Receivers: Tip #2
And when I say anything, I mean ANYTHING.
Do NOT say that you’ve always hated the color purple.
Do NOT say that you never wear earrings.
Do NOT say that you hate to read.
Do NOT say that you think wool is itchy and uncomfortable.
Why?
Because a little known law of nature dictates that whatever you complain about is the very thing that you're about to receive as a gift.
So while you're going on and on at dinner about the fact that Kenny G isn’t “real jazz,” your grandmother will be in tears for having placed his Christmas CD under the tree with your name on it. And when you finally open that ill-fated gift, you'll feel even worse for having said “Only old people buy CDs!” during dessert.
Save yourself this embarrassment. For the next three days, remember to hold your tongue. If you don’t have anything nice to say…well, you know the rest.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Five Etiquette Tips for Givers and Receivers: Tip #1
(Yes, yes, I know. My life must be pretty cushy if this is the only thing I have to complain about. But hear me out…)
In the weeks surrounding Christmas, I can become overwhelmed by the frantic cycle of selecting, purchasing, wrapping, transporting, opening, ooohing, aaahing, sorting, returning and repurchasing. “Stuff management” simply exhausts me.
BUT, I think there might be less interpersonal stress associated with gifting if everyone followed a few simple etiquette tips. Expect to see one tip per day until Christmas Day.
Tip #1: Do NOT buy anything for yourself just before Christmas!
Maybe you’ve been eying a gorgeous sweater that’s now marked 20 percent off. Maybe that cookbook you’ve been talking about for months is finally back in stock. Or maybe you’ve just spritzed your last spritz of your signature fragrance.
DON’T BUY IT!
Someone thoughtful might have been paying attention to your little desires all this time. And that special person will be absolutely crestfallen if you beat them to the punch mere days before the big reveal.
So resist the temptation. Even if it turns out that your loved ones know absolutely nothing about your wants and needs, you can always buy something nice for yourself after Christmas (and at an even deeper discount). Trust me.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
My Kid Needs the Tiny Font

"What I want for Christmas is in a book with toys and stuff that you can get for Christmas."
My guess is that the sentence should have ended with a "..." because I highly doubt he planned to end there. How do I know? I've heard this wish before:
"What I want for Christmas is in a book with toys and stuff that you can get for Christmas. It's a special car wash race track that shoots water* and then the cars land in the water. But the cars don't get wet until the end, because the water shoots over the cars until they land in the pool."
*I know what you're thinking: "A water-shooting race track? What a mess!" Well, you'll be happy to know that Rowan now wants a Lightning McQueen race track that absolutely does NOT shoot water. I wonder if it was our most recent trip to Target that changed his mind. ("Oh my gosh, Rowan, look at this race track! It's sooo cool! Don't you think it's cool?") Hmmm...I wonder.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Christmas Shopping Dialogue
Angie: “What about this? Wouldn't this be nice?”
Kyle: “I don’t’ know.”
Angie: “Don't you like it?”
Kyle: “I don’t know.”
Angie: “Do you think [s/he/they] would like it?
Kyle: “I don’t know.”
Angie: “I mean, I like it…but do you think [s/he/they] would even like the same things that I do?
Kyle: “I don’t know.”
Angie: "What kind of stuff would [s/he/they] get excited about, anyway?"
Kyle: "I don't know."
Angie: “Oh my God... How is it even possible that I’ve known [her/him/them] for almost my whole life, but I still have no idea whether [s/he/they]'d even like this?”
Kyle: “I don’t know.”
Angie: “Isn’t that almost depressing??”
Kyle: “I don’t know.”
Angie: “I feel overwhelmed... Do you think we should we get it or not?”
Kyle: “I don’t know.”
Angie: “This is just too hard, isn’t it? Do you want to get a latte or something while we think about it?”
Kyle: “Yes.”
I hope your Christmas shopping is going better than ours is!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Santa Claus Is Coming to Town
I sure am!*
Well, I am now. On Sunday, I was worried that I had uttered my last effective "Remember that Santa is watching you!" for this season. Rowan simply looked at me and replied, "You know what, mama? I think you're just trying to trick me into doing what you want me to do."
Uh oh.
But then, on Monday, I received a gift in the form of a horrifyingly strange and propagandaish claymation classic! I honestly have no memory of watching Santa Claus Is Coming to Town as a child. Maybe I suppressed its wacky plot deep into my subconscious. I mean, you'd think I'd recall such memorable characters as the repressive Burgermeister Meisterburger and the evil Winter Warlock. And who could forget Topper, the jubilant helper penguin?
Did I mention that the plot is completely insane?
In case you're wondering: YES, I am rather horrified that this movie is now the basis for my son's understanding of the St. Nicholas legend. But I don't care right now. Rowan has been on his very best behavior since Monday evening, so I'm not complaining.
I think it was this final scene that clinched it:
Thank you, Fred Astaire!
I plan to show this scene to Rowan any time I sense that the "magic" is fading.
*Please note: Officially, I am opposed to bribery, threats and all other conditional parenting tactics. Officially. Just so we're clear.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Home for the Holidays
Seriously. Without a looming deadline and the risk of total embarrassment, we might never address that pile of clirty clothes that collects in our bedroom.
What? You've never heard of "clirty" clothes? Well, imagine a sweater that you've worn only once after washing it. It's not exactly clean...but it probably isn't dirty, either. You could totally wear it again...but if you needed to round out a load of delicates, you'd throw it in the washing machine while you had the chance.
The wishy-washy status of clirty clothes leads to some strange logic and behaviors at our house. We seem to believe that clirty clothes don't deserve to reside with the clean clothes in our drawers and closets. But we don't want such items mixing with the truly dirty stuff in the hamper, either.
So, naturally, clirty clothes end up on the floor.
Yup. We're weird.
What was I talking about again?
Oh yeah, parties! So far this fall and winter, we've hosted Rowan's birthday party, a Halloween party and — just today — a tree-trimming party!
I put a pretty poinsettia on the table, along with two rather bizarre electric candles that I got on clearance at Target. They flicker and smell like apple cinnamon. A little odd, yes, but at least they didn't singe the poinsettia leaves or burn the kiddos.
Here's wishing you a wonderful season filled with family, friends and fun!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
A Special Christmas Wish
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Fun Game
I must provide a disclaimer, however, for people who enjoy competition:
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO STRATEGY INVOLVED IN THIS GAME! NONE.
At first, I found this a rather annoying. I even toyed around with creating new rules to make it a little more challenging and competetive. But the truth is that Rowan LOVES playing this game just the way it is.

It's a nice change of pace from Candyland and Shoots and Ladders, that's for sure.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Secret Santa
"I don't have to tell you that. It's a secret for Santa!"
Hmmm. This could be a problem. But considering that the last time I asked, he said he wanted "red paper, a rubber duck and a bigger scissors" my guess is that he isn't aiming very high. In any case, I will be listening very closely when we visit Santa this afternoon.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
'Tis The Season!
Oh well. We're officially moving on! (If you can't beat 'em...)
Our house is now full of Christmas cheer! I'm not sure how to cope with Rowan's crazy energy. Every time he sees the tree, he asks me when ("seriously WHEN") Santa is coming to our house. I'm hoping that a daily chocolate from the Advent calendar convinces him that patience is rewarded. (I've given up on convincing him that patience is its own reward.)
Of course, he still has some maturing to do. He tried to convince me that cousin Avery taught him to do this, but I know better. I informed both kiddos that this picture will be on my Christmas card in about 12 years.
